sometimes it's just me and my blabbering.

absolutblab

2006-03-19T00:04:00.000+08:00

had a hectic week though i think it was lovely.
went to JB to eat juciy crayfish.. thinkin of it just makes me want to drool. esp if you had seen edmund's face when he was eating it. goodness. pure bliss. and i bought more sex and the city. hahas. looks like i wont be studyin for exams. hehe.
and seems to be that everyone's born in March.
birthday parties galore. today i went to one, tmr another.
the sudden realization that im going to 21.
guess no one realises how scary that is but it is horrifying to me. guess i never really want to grow up. really. i walk through life realising that im living a lie. when will i ever be true to myself.

but i think im pretty thankful over everything.
so no complains. im just happy not to be someone else's situation.
if you see what i see, u'll know.

2005-11-01T18:49:00.000+08:00

my blog is in chinese and i absolutely dunno why. i had to like click a million little icons just to get to this page. oh kill me.

fragments of my emotional self

2005-11-01T18:29:00.000+08:00

new post.
if this thing does not die on me like it always does.
it is, again, the time of the night.
Super Funkies was playing katherina by tao ze.
i dont even know why i was watching it.

besides the bad mood part i displayed earlier, what i really want to say is that i watched sex and the city again and it made me cry and cry and cry. i dunno how i always manage to burst into tears like i do, think im secretly storing a bucket at the back of my eye sockets. i know the analogy's nt good but i cant quite think now. just writing away. it's the last episode. and no, im not crying cos im gonna miss it or anything silly like that. but in reality, im crying because of smith. i cannot cannot absolutely believe how sweet he is. im trying to believe that such love does actually exist but does it really? or is just a fragment of my imagination and of course, good ol' tv? but does such happy endings happen in reality?
i know i always lament abt such nonsense but wouldnt it be nice if life ended there at the happy moments? i dont want to know what happens after that, i want to live in the delusion that everything's gonna be 'happy ever after'. but is really like that?

2005-11-01T03:19:00.000+08:00

it's cold.
it's raining and i dont like it.

i can't sleep.
even sheep killer is asleep.
cant imagine why i feel this way.
i live my life just fine.

i think of me.
and wonder why i still don't know what i want.
is there really something wrong with me?

i want to do something for a change.
stop laughing at everything when there's no joy inside.

2005-07-29T22:21:00.000+08:00

flat-footed men are emotional men.

2005-07-12T17:27:00.000+08:00

a long time ago, i made some mistakes.
life moved on but my conscience still kills me.
it's haunting me.
maybe it's just the time of the night.
maybe it's just the fact that no one ever loved me like u did.
maybe it's just me.
i'm scared. want to know how u are.
but i'll never ask.
maybe i'm just thinkin too much.

2005-07-12T02:14:00.000+08:00

i freaking hate my life!

morals or money?

2004-12-11T21:57:00.000+08:00

job.headache.

man.im confused.
just got conned into the worst job ever. you can't believe what happened. all along i thought it was an office job but well, i thought wrong.so wrong. so there i was, all dressed up for my office job.in something nice and warm in case the air-con's too cold and guess what.the guy asks me to go downstairs. wow.and so i go.into the land of no return. it's not that bad. the people i work with are nice. they make me laugh..had fun when all the pigeons started chasing me.

but the job.i feel like some cheat.we are supposed to sell some stuff for charity but really,i wonder how much of it actually goes to charity.the job pays really well.too well in fact.hence,my doubts on the organisation.

there's another job. but the pay's half the amount.
but it's for kids with learning difficulties.really sweet.me a teacher. helping them.but the pay's just too low.i don't know how on earth i can do it.it's so much lower than what all my other friends are getting.in fact,i don't even know how i'll survive with so little money.cant afford any shopping.

why isn't there a simple job out there for a girl who just wants to pay for her driving lessons and art lessons without losing her soul at the same time?

reviewed.

2004-12-11T17:59:00.000+08:00

just watched sex and the city. i almost cried.can u believe it. but it got me thinking.. really. who is the one? the one whom you'll hold and cherish all your life.

is it just some wild feeling you are supposed to have or is it something more?
cos' suddenly my world's shaken and im lost. actually, im always lost. my direction is so unclear..all i see is the fog around me that never seems to leave. is it past sins that have come and haunt me or is it more? i cant even tell.

and to make things worse, i never know what am i doing with my life.
it's not just love. it's everything. and i really want to get my life back on track.

the sweetest thing was that smith waited all the while downstairs just to make sure she got home safely. i cannot imagine how he did it. it was the best and most humbling thing a guy could ever do. can you?he may have lost all pride but he really cared.and to still care when all these has happened,is truly love. Sex and the city. episode13.

but what do i know abt love.