fragments of my emotional self

new post.
if this thing does not die on me like it always does.
it is, again, the time of the night.
Super Funkies was playing katherina by tao ze.
i dont even know why i was watching it.

besides the bad mood part i displayed earlier, what i really want to say is that i watched sex and the city again and it made me cry and cry and cry. i dunno how i always manage to burst into tears like i do, think im secretly storing a bucket at the back of my eye sockets. i know the analogy's nt good but i cant quite think now. just writing away. it's the last episode. and no, im not crying cos im gonna miss it or anything silly like that. but in reality, im crying because of smith. i cannot cannot absolutely believe how sweet he is. im trying to believe that such love does actually exist but does it really? or is just a fragment of my imagination and of course, good ol' tv? but does such happy endings happen in reality?
i know i always lament abt such nonsense but wouldnt it be nice if life ended there at the happy moments? i dont want to know what happens after that, i want to live in the delusion that everything's gonna be 'happy ever after'. but is really like that?